Forgiven

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Y’all, I love the Lord with all my heart. He does not ever fail. He continuously forgives. I’m the first to say that I am a sinner and don’t live to be the perfect woman of God I am set out to be.

I am full of flaws and imperfections, and I’ll be the first to admit it.

But Jesus died on the cross for our sins to be forgiven.

So for all of my blog followers who do not know me personally or really all that well at all, I want you to know that though my relationship may seem strong and consistent with God through my blogs perspective, but it’s not. I want to get real with you so you know, I am not perfect and I KNOW I AM NOT. Blogging has always been a way for me to get my thoughts and feelings out to the world, it’s such a positive influence on me to continue to write and encourage others. While I am encouraging others, I want you all to know that I fail too. Hypocrisy at it’s finest. Trying to encourage others to continue to work on their relationship with God while sometimes I fail at doing the same thing. This is a time for me to be vulnerable.

There are some days when saying a prayer slips my mind completely.

I am insecure.

I lie.

I get envious.

My priorities are not always straight and I may make material or worldly things “godly.”

Sometimes I focus on how I look too much.

Sometimes I stress about things that are not worth stressing about.

Sometimes I focus on guys too much.

Sometimes I go out and have fun with my friends, and choose not to go to church on Sunday’s because I would rather sleep in.

Sometimes I talk to my friends or just keep my worries and struggles to myself instead of taking them straight to the Lord.

I will never be satisfied with the woman that I am, I will never stop working on myself.

I am a busy college student, as many of us are, and sometimes choose fun, work, guys, and school over my time with the Heavenly Father.

I am many things and do many things, but I am also a follower of Christ and that is the beauty of it all.

But that doesn’t mean I am failing or falling away from my relationship with Him. I may have days where I drift more than others, but I will always come back; most of the time even stronger.

I know a few people that are strong in their faith, but continue to put others down because they are living their lives differently. That’s not how God intended us to be.┬áThat pushes others away from Christ more than anything in my opinion.

He seeks me and wants me more and more everyday, as do I… even though some days I fail to show it.

Recently, I have just been overwhelmed with the hate due to the election, from the holidays or coming back to school/work. It hurts my heart to see one another so hateful to each other.

We all live our lives differently, Christian or not. With that said, we are all sinning so why are we judging others for how they choose to live? That is not our job. It’s not our job to try to fix things that we “think” are broken.

I fail at this as well, but it is a hateful thing to do to others as Christians. ┬áSometimes people may wander from God, but that does not mean they don’t know it already. And while it is our job as Christians to encourage each other to return our faith, it’s not our job to condemn one another. Being hateful, judgmental, and critical is not what we are here for.

I am guilty of this. I am judgmental and critical. I gossip. And although I really strive to be the nicest person I can possibly be to all, I can be hateful too. Ask my Mom for a primary source. WE ARE HUMAN. And it is forgiven. But it is the Lord’s job to do the condemning.

And while my life through my blog may seem like I “have it all together,” I can tell you firsthand that I am nowhere even close.

That doesn’t mean I am not striving for the perfect relationship with the Lord either. Social media has became such a big part of our lives that we forget what happens behind closed doors. I have witnessed this firsthand. I say this because social media is our main medium for putting others down. One of my favorite couples (who I considered to be “goals”) got a divorce last year. They seemed perfectly happy, with two young children. But not everything is as it seems. Sometimes someone is posting about how glorious and flawless their life is, but they could be going through things that no one knows about. And as for me, I may come off as someone who has their relationship with the Lord perfectly coming together in my blogs, but I fail every single day. And I know that. Just follow me on twitter and you’ll hear about my daily struggles and rants.

I use my blog as my journal, kind of as an motivator to continue to work on my relationship with the Lord. It reminds me that I set an example for others and need to continue to positively influence them, and not me telling the world that I have it all together… because I don’t.

In the Bible, there is a story about how a woman was caught in adultery. As they were about to stone her to death, Jesus began writing in the sand. He stands up replied “He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone.” John 8:7. The crowd began to disperse one by one until there was no one left.

So while we may judge others for their sins, let’s reflect on our own sins. Are we living the life that God intended? Is my life gravitating people towards the Lord? Are we encouraging each other to be the best women and men of God? Maybe we aren’t. I know that I fail at times and maybe others can see through that, but I try my best. As I know we all do.

I had a conversation with a man at work one day who refused to go to church because he thought his sins were so great. He told me to my face that God hasn’t dealt with someone like him before. And people (even Christians) resented him for it. GOOD NEWS…. HE HAS DEALT WITH ALL OF US. ALL SINNERS. Every single one of us. We are all equal in the eyes of the Lord. And He is good, and He is accepting; no matter who we are or what we have done. FOREVER.

“Sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.”

While I may not constantly preach the Bible on every social media page I have, or while every word that comes out of my mouth may not be so Christ-like… I am a woman of God. I am forgiven.

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