I love blogging because it’s eye-opening for me to go back to when I wrote my first blog and see how much my life has changed since then. It’s been quite the journey; starting college, dating, heartbreaks, transferring universities, and now soon to be graduating from college.
Just two and a half years ago, I wrote Send me Someone which really went into depth of the man I prayed God to send me. I prayed for a man who would want, love, and pursue me in ways I had never been pursued before. But, before he sent me that man, I wanted him to change me. I wanted him to heal my heart, help me love my insecurities, and help me draw closer to Him in all aspects of my life.
He provides. He ALWAYS provides.
The Lord’s presence in my life the last couple years has been undeniably noticeable, overwhelming, and extraordinary. My relationship with Him has flourished, my prayer life has improved, and I hope to continue to watch it grow and hope to become an even stronger woman of God.
While He has helped me change my heart and attitude towards everyday life, I do still notice some past insecurities show up and reveal themselves once again. I am far from perfect, and I know there is always room to grow and improve, but I have loved loved LOVED the changes I have seen in me thus far.
Changing my mindset has changed my life drastically. I have expected good things to happen to me and good things are happening. I have thrown out most of the things Satan says while trying to convince me that I am not worthy or enough (still working on it). If you know me, you know that I have always worried as well as overthink every situation in my life. I didn’t fully trust what God was unfolding before me, and I have been frightened of change. Thankfully, I have mostly let go of the fear that has been holding me back for so long and let go of my anxious, worrisome mind. It is such a new and refreshing type of freedom to understand that whatever God has planned for my life is a good and gracious plan.
For a long time, I have prayed for God to send me my person. He did just that this year after countless nights of praying, meditating on the Word, and reading relationship book after relationship book. He sent me someone who has pursued my heart and wanted me in ways I never thought was possible. Satan tried to convince me to settle and tell me that my standards were too high, but God proved him wrong (again and again). I knew from the beginning of Blaine and I’s relationship that God had amazing plans for the both of us together and apart.
Blaine makes me giggle, which is my favorite thing about him. I didn’t know I could fall in love with a laugh until I fell hard for his. He makes me want to become a better woman of God. He’s adventurous, and fun, and selfless. He makes me want to be more loving, more accepting, more positive, and more giving. He makes me want to be a better person every single day. He makes me feel so comfortable and so confident with my true self. He allows me to be goofy. And loud. And competitive. And sassy. And that clingy girlfriend that just wants to hang out all the time. He has loved all of the parts of me that I thought I needed to change. He doesn’t get annoyed with me when I need a few reassuring words, or even when I want to call him even after we have been together for a month straight and I already miss him after 24 hours (whoops). I trust him with my whole heart, and that is something that has always been difficult for me. He is my safe place.
It is still early in our relationship, but I have enjoyed getting to know him every single day and falling in love with his kind heart. God’s plan is so remarkable and unpredictable, I have no clue what He has in store for my future. What I do know, is that He is good, His plan is good, and everything happens because He has a reason for it. So while I hope Blaine and I continue to grow together and love one another for a very long time, I know that my plan may be different than God’s and whatever happens… it is good.
My life will soon change drastically in a few months as I graduate college and pursue a career, and I am so excited. I never thought I would be ready to graduate and move on with life, but I am READY. No, I have no plan or any idea what I will be doing after May 19, 2018… but I do know whatever coming is good.
So while my journey has been an interesting and marvelous one, I hope yours has been too. I hope you are confident in the Lord and His plans, and anxious (in a good way) to see what He unfolds before you in this life. Know that good is coming and He never fails. He fulfills His promises, and He wins every. single. time.